Experiences and Thoughts

My heart is heavy with the news of the passing of Brian Kellow. Writer, critic, opera enthusiast, raconteur…….Brian’s work and passions were drawn from his innate love of music, the written word and the human voice. His poise and integrity were sheer echoes of his ardor in expressiveness with words. He graced us all with his humor. It could be naughty but it was as grounded as a skilled comedian. He never wanted to waste time. Especially when confronted with time wasters. And what time he had was spent in creation and his love of friends and partner, Scott Barnes.

For my part, I shared something quite special with Brian. We were both Oregon born and raised. I was from the eastern high desert and he was from the verdant western coast. He was achingly expressive in speaking about the precious qualities that growing up in a small town gave him. We both knew that we lived well within the love of our families and that there were aspects of small town life that strengthened the creative individuals that we became. I always thought there was a sense of wonder in the way that Brian regarded art. There was a freshness in his understanding of theater and music that is only born out of someone who has had nature as their backdrop while growing up. When it came to film, this was his arena….he grew up with a small cinema in his home town as his gateway to the outside world and introduction to broad screen visual art. Humility, quietude and simplicity……these were just some of the traits of small town Oregon that seemed to linger with him. He folded those qualities into his life in New York City. A little voice is telling me that in his final days when he was robbed of the ability to put pen to paper, that the memory of spirit that Oregon engraved within him was a healing factor. At least, I would like to think so.

I was so personally happy for him when he made the decision two years ago to spend an entire summer with his Father in Oregon….to be in touch with his Dad who he admired for raw spirit and, of course, to write. On the day when I knew Brian was returning to New York City I wrote to him. I remembered all too well those final days on my own visits back to Oregon when I would escape from my home in London….those moments when I had dropped all pretense about my life in the city and just became part of the Oregon landscape. I knew that Brian would be having a hard time in saying goodbye…to his Father, his family and his relationship with the place that he was carved into. So I wrote saying that I knew how hard the return would be……he was about to go to the airport and I could hear in his voice the memory of many profound moments that had been experienced in that summer. He was conflicted about saying goodbye to it all. Yes, we did share something special in the short time I knew him.

One of my favorite interviews on my radio show, ‘Center Stage with Pamela Kuhn’ was with Brian in May 2016. We spoke of his background, his tenacity in pursuing a writing career, of his love of singers and opera, of why ‘The Searchers’ might be the greatest film ever made, of the legacy of film critic Pauline Kael and his book on Suzi Mengers. His excitement in the speculation of film options for two of his books and a possible interview and book on the life of Kim Novak was uplifting. He was following his instincts and they were ripe.

I know that the angels are greeting him….angels bright and faire. If they grant him the ability to sing then he can create with the icons of
the operatic world that he held most dear. And if he is writing, I know that the projects will still remain fresh with a whiff of old soul expression. I would like to think he is walking along the banks of the nearest stream in his home town…..listening to the singing of nature……conjuring with the angels and discovering the ability to fly.

I love the element of paradox in art!  And opera is right up there at the top for the best examples.  Richard Strauss and his librettist Hofmannsthal debated in the beautiful opera ‘Capriccio’ which presents the age old problem in vocal music…which is more important, words or music?  ‘Le Nozze di Figaro’ by Mozart has all manner of characters dressed up as someone else in great masquerades of belief and disbelief.  Or ‘Ariadne auf Naxos,’ an opera within an opera with characters from the sublime to the macabre mirroring alter egos.  Outside of paradox in the world of music,  I DO know the most important element in all of opera…the voice!

I have been a professional and working operatic soprano for forty years.  I have known the beauty of my discipline and always tried to live within the inspiration of my work.  This is the inspiration that breathes life into notes on the page and communicates to the audience a powerful emotional message born through the strength of musical language.  Many singers have been blessed with the talent to begin with and given the right vocal cords for the job.  But what about those who have the ‘aspiration’ to become a singer but don’t necessarily have the raw talent on which to build the art form?  Or those who grew up adoring the opera and feel a need to live it merely by association with others who are masters of their craft?

In my singing career, I have come upon several of these individuals and many times it comes with the mantel of the wealthy.  I have watched several ‘would be’ singers spend vast amounts of money and exert misguided energy into an obsessional quest to have an operatic career with limited vocal talent to work with.  With many,  the intention to sing is stronger than the talent that they can conjure.  And let’s make no mistake,  the task of singing on a professional level is a Herculean one never to be taken lightly.  And the personal sacrifices that one has to make along the way can be extraordinary.

Aspiration…inspiration…two worlds with a fine line in between.  It is again, paradox.  And that brings us into the world of the marvelous French film ‘Marguerite.’ We are presented with the passion of a woman driven by the need of ‘aspiration’ in assuming the guise of legendary singer met with a friendly audience who help her carry self belief on wings of deception.  Her supporters, finding her frailty and sincerity of spirit too delicate to destroy with the truth about the lack of her talent, whisk her along in her own operatic drama…her need to feel that she is a reigning prima donna.

With her blissful naive and childlike wonder, we all want to support her.  Her ardor is angelic.  And as her team of producers and critics hide the truth from her they are also forced to witness their own weaknesses played out in operatic drama.  Is not the search for art as important as the art form itself?  Perhaps that is why we are all here in this auditorium right now…to possess an emotional experience within the art form of cinema that we perhaps cannot construct ourselves.

The symbology of what transpires in ‘Marguerite’ is profoundly layered.  Through her, we cannot forget that once we are driven to find extraordinary depth as an artist we are forced to face the darkness of our souls, which has its own price to pay.   And Marguerite’s motley team of genuine admirers, critics, mentors and her husband cannot escape their own paradox of uncomfortable voyeurism while playing their own part in this story.

This is a beautifully choreographed film written and directed by Xavier Giannoli with a fantastic turn by Catherine Froh as Marguerite, gaining her the 2016 Best Actress Cesar Award.  Please note that she is herself a fine singer and her performances had to be electronically manufactured to give us a poor performance that many times resembles the screeching of Marguerite’s beloved peacocks.  I was extraordinarily moved by her final performance on stage.  Maestro Giannoli recognizes and delivers the specter of the swan song.

‘Marguerite’ inspires all of us to look at life, art and love through, as you will see, a new lens of imagination, fantasy and hope.  However, I am left remembering a saying of Samuel Taylor Coleridge which I have embroidered on a pillow in my vocal studio for all potential singers to see.  It says, “Swans sing before they die…’twere no bad thing should certain persons die before they sing!”

Did you know that a great many lawyers have an interest in an art form that may seem leagues away from their intended study…that they indulge in a discipline that takes years of dedicated practice that rivals their own study of the bar.  I am talking about lawyers who love to make music.  There are many, many law students and lawyers who pursue some sort of artistic desire…for instance, many cities have Lawyer’s Orchestras.  In a recent article in the Century City Lawyer, a publication of the Los Angeles bar association, the opening phrase  is:

“By day they are civil litigators, trial attorneys, deputy district attorneys, criminal defense attorneys, in-house counsel, sole practitioners, partners at large law firms, superior court judges, California Court of Appeal Justices, paralegals and law students.  But by night, the concert stage is their platform!”

I am describing  the Los Angeles Lawyer’s Philharmonic Orchestra founded by conductor, Gary Greene, Esquire, an attorney for more than 40 years who founded the orchestra.  He eventually went on to build the “Legal Voices Choir” and his Glenn Miller influenced group, “The Big Band of Barristers.”  As attorney Greene says, “music is not only a universal language that expands our communication skills, it is also very relaxing in stressful times, and it reinvigorates us when we return to our day jobs.”

Since forming his Los Angeles Lawyer’s Orchestra in 2009 they have performed at hundreds of top concert venues including Walt Disney Concert Hall.  In 2012 they were invited to perform at the Radio Television News Association’s Golden Mike Awards.  His  75 piece orchestra could not fit into the Universal Hilton ballroom with the allotted space allowed them.  So Maestro Greene developed the 18 piece big band group, “The Big Band of Barristers.”

And don’t think for a minute that this is the only legal orchestra out there.    “The Big Band of Barristers” has participated in the American Bar Association’s “Battle of the Lawyer Bands”  competing with bands from Orlando, Chicago and Detroit.  In London recently,  I helped a soprano soloist prepare for a performance of the Poulenc Gloria  with none other than… you guessed it, the London Lawyer’s Symphony Orchestra.

And it might surprise you to discover that there have been many celebrity performers who were once lawyers or had studied law.  Let’s look at a short list of notables:

My personal favorite, Julio Iglesias…the Spanish crooner recognized as one of the most commercially successful European performers in the world.  His law studies were interrupted by a car accident that left him paralyzed.  During his recovery he discovered his natural talent for music.  He completed his law degree in 2001 but only had eyes for the stage and fame as a singer.

Andrea Bocelli…he practiced law for a year after graduating from the University of Pisa.  But he had discovered his voice while singing at Italian piano bars to put himself through school.  He felt his voice was special and wanted to offer it to the world through song rather than in the courtroom.

Paul Robeson…lawyer, legendary singer, actor and activist.  He briefly worked as a lawyer in 1923 but left after experiencing racism within his firm.  He turned his sites to the stage and the rest was history.

And even Baroque composer George Friedrich Handel studied law under pressure from his father.  But his passion for music over rode his duty to his Father.  And where would we be without Handel’s prolific offerings to musical history?  We would be without a Hallelujah chorus……

And presently in New York City a young woman has pursued both her sense of duty in studying law and her passion in her studies as an opera singer.  Born in Lebanon,  singer Marie Joe Abi Nassif was pressured into the study of law by her family.  Her society didn’t consider music as a legitimate means of making a living.  After traveling to Paris to earn her Master’s degree in business law she heard her first opera,  “The Marriage of Figaro.”  That was all she needed to throw herself into her first love of singing.  She devoted herself to the simultaneous study of law and her music.  Coming to New York City in 2012 she entered Juilliard while finishing her degree at Columbia Law School.  The law firm that eventually hired her gives her time to develop her musical discipline.  In fact, she performed her Carnegie Hall solo debut in 2016.  Of her singing career, Ms Abi Nassif says, “I think my singing career gives me the ability to think outside the box as a lawyer.  It also gives me the emotional intelligence to understand other people and adjust accordingly.”  And of her Carnegie Hall concert she says, “It was like a dream.”

On “Center Stage” recently I had two attorneys from different countries speak about how music affects their day to day life.  Andrew Mayor is a barrister from London who has a thriving career both as an operatic soloist and his law practice.  Hartwell Hylton is a retired attorney from a prominent New York City law firm who now uses singing as a means of strengthening his voice as a complement to his studies as a clergyman.  I wanted to find if music enhanced their day jobs and if there is a mysterious link between the study of law and the discipline of a musician’s life.  What I discovered is that music was so central to their lives that they both felt they could not put it on a back burner.  These gentlemen had no regrets…just joy for the ability to finally step forward and claim their music making without reservation.

And the curtain is now down on Center Stage.

Artists are sensitive by nature.  And when it comes to their flow of work, artists can live with a waterfall of creative delights followed by times of fallow yearning for a creative idea.  I feel that all artists have at one point or another in their lives, a time of cocooning themselves as they prepare for their next creative outburst.  It can be a form of gestation that allows them to build their work from a wealth of life experience or a burrowing down in times of trouble or despair.  The simple truth is that the darkest hours can sometimes be the artists benevolent friend….a trickster in the guise of sorrow,  the darkest times take us out of our comfort zone and into  survival mode that breeds new ideas and new directions.  An artist assumes that the rollercoaster ride of creation is not always quickly forthcoming nor is it oftentimes, easy.  And this includes every artist from singer to dancer to painter.

I tell my singers when they feel “stuck” or without focus that this gestation is often a necessary means of forcing us to go inside to find the real depth of inspiration.  On “Center Stage” I have delved into the lives of people who wear many hats in their desire to find a creative stronghold.  Or those who have lived several different life styles while they search to be brought back to their music or art.  But what about those who have explored music early on and then somehow put it on a shelf.  I know when creative people set their art aside to become doctors or lawyers that the artistic yen will start to scream at them at some point and they will return to it.  Then there are those who have music in their lives constantly but dip in and out  while they pursue other creative interests.  Songwriters especially need the layers that real life can add to put into their music.   Think of every great country western song and you know what I’m talking about.  And sometimes a hiatus is necessary to keep the well of inspiration clear.  Does that type of gestation bring them rewards in their music making?

Without a doubt it does and sometimes it can be the best thing that happens to an artist.

By and large,  anyone who possesses creativity should not be afraid of fallow periods.  Instead of looking at it as a “block” or “hitting the wall” perhaps we should all have the courage to reflect on the strength of the quiet aspect it brings.  Artists need to refuel and sometimes the best method can be through the art of lying low and of listening to our inner voice…our needs, our fears and our desires.  Beauty can rise out of the cocoon.